Checking In

With my new resolution, I decided that I should probably start blogging more over here. See, here's the thing, writing for Create and Improve is fun and doesn't take a lot of effort, so why not? Plus, I'm hoping that by forcing myself to update you here more, I will be even more inclined to hold tight to my new goal.

So what's up since Tuesday? Well, I successful got up at 5:15/5:30 to write on Wednesday and Thursday. Thursday I crossed over my daily 1K goal. I didn't end up writing yesterday. Some things came up and it just didn't happen. But that's okay because today is Saturday.

I've been reading articles on Publishing Crawl and found some great articles about writing for hire. I love how positive a spin they put on something I feel like is usually thought of as not as worth while. I've been meaning to submit to Paper Lantern Lit for a while now, but this article really got me going.

So today's goals:

• Write at least 1K in new novel (hopefully more)
• Work on resume

Just Do It

It's September and I'm looking forward to NaNoWriMo. It never fails to get me writing. This year has been a difficult writing year for me. I haven't done much writing and I haven't finished the revisions for Traitors & Tyrants yet. I can't choose which project to work on. I want to write them all but haven't found the will to force myself to commit.

Lazy right?

Looking back, my heart wasn't into NaNoWriMo last year. I don't want it to be that way again though. Even my book blogging and reading have taken a huge hit this year. I've been sporadic at best.

You know what though, this year I finally reached the point I think I always knew I'd hit.

This year I realized that I can't book blog, read, and write seriously the way I want to. Other people can, but it's a lot and is just too much for me. I realized that I have to choose between the two. I've thought about it a lot. I believe in chasing your dreams and one of my greatest dreams, the one that trumps (no pun intended) book blogging, is becoming a published novelist.

Does this mean I'm going to stop book blogging? No. But it does mean that I'm going to let it slide and stop pressuring myself into posting there. This wasn't an easy decision because I did have aspirations for my book blog, but becoming a published novelist is more important to me.

I read an article this week that said it's more work to commit to something 99% of the way than it is to commit 100%. It's called the 100% rule. Then, tonight, while I searched for articles about writing (instead of writing ironically, I know - but I was trying to find something to help me get back into it all, I wanted to see that someone else has been where I am), I came across an article written by Susan Dennard that basically communicated the same message. She wrote about how she can only work on one project at a time and has to envelop herself in it. In other words, she has to give each project 100%.

This was the final turning point for me. It was the article that helped me realize I had to take the plunge. It's been nearly three years since I've drafted a brand new novel. This year I've committed myself to working on an entirely new project this November. I need to do this. I really think this will help me get to where I want to be as a writer.

In fact, if all goes well and as planned (hah!), I will be finishing a draft for one novel this October prior to NaNoWriMo. I'm making this resolution now and I'm committing myself to it. 100%.

Recommitment Again...

Since last I wrote here, I've been thinking about writing and NaNoWriMo more and more. I've been taking photography classes for the past five weeks and taking steps toward fulfilling this dream of mine (to be able to take nice photos), has me thinking about a lot of stuff. It's given me a refreshed perspective on writing and my desires for it as well.

Let's just go over one thing for a moment. I've never flown anywhere. I've traveled up and down the east coast of the United States more than once now, but I've never flown anywhere. To my great excitement, I'm planning a trip to the west coast to visit an aunt. This pending experience has shed a different light on quite a few things for me. Perhaps it's cheesy to say, but I find myself considering things like a trip through Europe (through the same school I'm taking photography classes) as a real possibility. Now, will it actually happen? I don't know. Let's remember that I have yet to board my first plane.

Of course, I'm contemplating other non-travel-related things as well but we won't go into that.

With this new outlook, there's a somewhat familiar focus entering my life. I've been book blogging for almost three years, but things have been quiet on that front for the past week or two. Life is busy and it's coming to a point where I have to ask myself what is most important to me. Do I want to book blog seriously or occasionally? I don't have an actual answer for that yet, but I do have an answer about my photography and writing.

Yes, I want to dump some more time into practicing and improving my photography. Will I ever take pictures professionally? I have no idea, but I know that it's something I enjoy doing so, at the very least, it'll remain a pleasant hobby. If that's all that comes of it, then that's okay with me right now.

As for writing...

Writing is a constant battle of ups and downs. The last five months have consisted of a huge low and, curiously enough (or perhaps not so curiously), writing last week's blog entry was almost therapeutic. I've found that since I've written it, I've had a more positive outlook on Traitors & Tyrants. I've been more invigorated to start writing again and am ready to get back to it.

Now, that isn't to say I didn't write at all in the last five months. I did do some writing, but not very much and what writing I did (not blogging related) wasn't all that serious. I wrote in scenes, which is typically a totally unproductive way for me to write. I work in chronological order and find it virtually impossible to write seriously any other way. When I write in pieces, I tend to think of them as things I can cast aside at any time, unimportant even if they are related to a novel I intend to write at some point.

So what's my point here?

I've basically been a dry well for the past five months. I've used every excuse in the book and have flat out avoided Traitors & Tyrants. With everything that's going on in my life right now (and the perspective offered by my photography classes), I've been thoughtfully contemplating what my real priorities are in life and what I need to do to meet those goals.

I am recommitting not just to Traitors & Tyrants, but also to this painful, yet miraculous process we all call writing. It isn't entirely uncommon for me to go for months without working on a novel. It has happened before. What makes this past year's dry spell so different is the reason behind it. I wasn't just not writing because I didn't feel like it or because I was busy. I wasn't writing because I was, for lack of a better word, wounded in a way. I'm sure that sounds dramatic, but there isn't an easy way to describe it without going into great detail (which I did last week).

Now to get back on track.

Yes, I am recommitting myself to my writing because it is something that I love and have wanted to pursue with all my heart for quite some time now. Sometimes life just throws you a curve ball and there's nothing you can do but to ride it out. The important part is not to let it throw you off course for too long. Get back on that horse. Keep going.

All right, now that you've allowed me to beat that horse until it's good and dead (after all, the last three or so blog posts have been about more or less the same thing), allow me to give you can update.

Have I started planning for Traitors & Tyrants?

Like a good little procrastinator, I haven't done a single thing to prepare for NaNoWriMo. I intended to read Traitors & Tyrants today but that didn't happen. I will be settling in to do some reading tomorrow and will hopefully be finishing it by mid week. I'll have my notepad ready and pen poised for notes. There's a lot to do but I'm going to make the most of November.

I'm currently planning on taking two days off in an effort to help me get some serious extra writing time in this November as well as contemplating getting up earlier in the morning. (Hah, that's unlikely but good intentions right?)

Am I worried by my last minute preparations?

No. The fresher the novel is in my memory, the better. I need to clear up some inconsistencies and plot holes, so I don't consider the fact that I'm reading the novel the week before as detrimental. Since I basically know what I need to do, planning shouldn't be too difficult. (Look, now I've cursed myself.)

That's about it for now though. I'll keep you posted.

Traitors & Tyrants Draft #4: Commitment

Source

No man has been more inspiring or has taught me more about revisions than the great Tolkien himself. There is a plethora of writing advise out there. I once read somewhere that a novel should only have three or four drafts. After revising Traitors & Tyrants two times already, I find myself beginning another round of revisions. Once I've completed these I will be four drafts into this novel. I've finally come to accept that it may take a few more until I get Traitors & Tyrants where I want it, and that's okay. Not including the occasional dalliance into novels whose ideas are barely half formed, I have been working solely on Traitors & Tyrants for almost two years. I have never worked on a single novel concept for such a long period of time. The dedication I have to this novel almost seems unfounded to me.

Traitors & Tyrants has inspired me to keep going. It has made me want to give up on it. I've considered giving up on this dream of mine. But it refuses to leave me alone. Almost every single time I want to write, I find myself thinking about Traitors & Tyrants.

Let's cover something for a moment. I have completed five other drafts and have been dangerously close to finishing two more for the past two years. I have flirted with the new stories and have let them float around in my head quite longer than I typically let these type of things float. None of them have managed to pull me completely away from Traitors & Tyrants and I've asked myself why. More than once.

There comes a point when you have to decide how committed your are to a novel. I knew from the very beginning that I wanted to stick with this until the very end. I wanted to give Traitors & Tyrants it's best shot before it even had a title. Nothing in my life has taught me more about persistence than writing. Not long ago, I contemplated scrapping Traitors & Tyrants. I've written three drafts and it still needs a lot of work. But as I thought, I realized (although I already knew this) that if I never stuck with a novel long enough, it would never reach that coveted point of perfection I so desperately desire for it.

The unique thing about Traitors & Tyrants is that I believe in it unlike any other novel I have ever written. Every time I contemplate the next round of revisions, the thought strikes me of how much untapped potential it has. It is my belief in its potential and perhaps even all of the time I've invested in it that helps keep me going.

I finished the third draft about two months ago. It's been difficult to get started again because I lost a lot of work. Losing that work was a huge blow and it's been extremely hard to bounce back from it. It still makes me sad to think of how it was before I lost that work. It was five times better than it currently is. I've needed the past two months to get my head out of Traitors & Tyrants though. I've needed this time away from it. I was too close to it.

Recently, I started listening to Falling Kingdoms. I'd originally abandoned it when I tried to read it a couple of years ago. I hated the characters. While my view of the characters hasn't exactly changed, I've been taking this opportunity to appreciate the world Rhodes has developed. She is another author I can add to my list of inspiration. If anything, she has taught me how useful a despicable character can be to a story (when used correctly).

Shortly after starting Falling Kingdoms, I came across an article written by Maggie Stiefvater in which she basically says that writing takes work and not to belittle that. Behind almost every good novel, is an outline of some kind written at some point. This is another inspiring thing for me because it has given me the boost I need to begin revisions for Traitors & Tyrants again. I had success with an outline when I completely rewrote Traitors & Tyrants and will be employing a more extensive one this time as I move towards another round of edits.

My plan this time? Put my goals for this draft down on paper and outline the novel with these things in mind. This more extensive outline will force me to seriously contemplate each new direction I consider for Traitors & Tyrants; it will help me strengthen the plot lines, characters, and settings that are already in place. I am eager to dive into this round of revisions, and have actually already begun this process.

So It Has Begun: Traitors & Tyrants Draft #3

It's been quite a while since I've blogged over here. I've been pretty busy working (I changed jobs), going to school, blogging at Chasm of Books, and writing.

I've made quite a bit of progress in the past five months. I read all of Traitors & Tyrants' first draft and decided that I needed to rewrite the entire thing. I was opposed to this thought at first but I came around to it. All I can say is that I am so glad I did. Neither draft is perfect, however each has something very important.

Draft one has the entire series plot and some important world building in it. However, draft one's plot was unfocused. Draft two lacks world building and detail but the plot is there. You have to understand that when I write I tend to write the main points of a story and bypass a lot of detail and setting description. These are important things though, since this description enables a story to envelop a reader. As you can probably guess, things tend to be very fast paced. Too fast. It's one thing after another. Rushed.

My main goal for draft three is to insert details, world building, and pacing. I think these are definitely the major things. I'll be keeping an eye on Hector's personality as well as Rachel's to make sure they're consistent and distinct. If I had to choose, I'd say Rachel is definitely going to undergo the most character development in this round of revisions.

I tried to interview Rachel before I ever wrote the first draft, but she was uncooperative; however, I'm pleased to say that she decided to cooperate this week and I've learned some really important things about her and how she feels about events (now I'll be able to add a realistic emotional punch to things).

I've started revisions for draft #3 this week and am enjoying the process a lot. It's really interesting to see the story transform into something I'd actually be willing to share.

All I Can Think About

I've finally finished Untitled Fantasy and I'm supposed to be taking a break from it and writing Rogue Beings for Camp NaNoWriMo. The thing is, I keep thinking about Untitled Fantasy and how much I want to give a real name and how much I just want to read and fix it already.

I keep telling myself it's only 20K. I can do that easy. I also tell myself that I need to buy ink and paper so I can print Untitled Fantasy so I can't work on it anyway. This isn't helping me not think about it though. I need to just sit down and write, but now that it comes down to it, I remember the fact that I have to re-acclimate myself to a story that is near its end and entirely different.

I haven't worked on Rogue Beings for... I don't know, a year? That's a long time. And to just plop down 62K into it and write? That's not the easiest thing to do. I have to capture the character's voices, their problems, argh! Why did I not finish this before? It was an awful mistake. *sigh*

While all of this is going on, I remember how many times I wanted to quite on Untitled Fantasy and how glad I am that I kept going. I'm holding onto that knowledge and am pushing myself to just sit down and do this thing with Rogue Beings. I can do this and I will be glad I did.

First Draft - Completed

Wow. It's been a long three months. I've been officially composing Untitled Fantasy's first draft since March and had begun brainstorming and character interviews a month or two before then. That means I've been working on it for the past six months (approximately).

And it's finished.

Three months.

I can hardly believe I've finished the first draft. You'd think I'd be excited but, right now, I'm sort of in a state of disbelief. It has finally happened. I came in at 60,010 words. I thought I had finished when I was just 500 words shy but I like even numbers so I went back later. Those last 500 words were some of my favorite to write.

All of today's writing flew by and I wrote the bulk of them (if memory serves) in two hours. I figured the last of it would flow like crazy, but I honestly was surprised at how much they just poured out of me.

Final stats:

Untitled Fantasy

6 Months

60,010 words

The Moment Before the End

As I write, I have Untitled Fantasy open on my desktop, waiting for me to begin typing the last 3,443 words. I worked all day yesterday, so I didn't get my 1,000 words in but I was able to think about the ending some more and figured out a better direction and one I am entirely too excited about.

I wanted to savor this moment before I finished Untitled Fantasy. I have the rest of the day with nothing to do (except renewing library books and vacuuming) therefore, it's my goal to get the last few thousand words in today.

I've been thinking about Untitled Fantasy's chosen ending for quite some time. I honestly didn't have a clue about how it would end until this past week. I keep trying to think about when I started Untitled Fantasy. I began brainstorming and outlining sometime in January I believe and actually started writing in March. (I think... it's hard to remember.).

Before beginning Hector's POV (which I consider to be the draft's real beginning writing wise), I wrote four chapters in Rachel's POV. Those first few thousand words flew by and poured out of me and I knew that this idea was one I wanted to see all the way through to the end.

 I also experimented with Hector in that time too. My vision of him has changed since then so his chapter is much different from the rest of the novel and not included. But I kept every one of those chapters because they helped me discover the characters and the novel itself.

Untitled Fantasy may or may not ever see the light of day (I hope it does!) but I will be forever grateful for the experiences it provided me. I still doubt this novel a lot but I keep reminding myself it's a first draft. With that mindset, I'm pretty proud of this draft. I'm sure it'll change a lot during revisions; and I hope it does, because it can be so much better than it is right now.

New Goal - Great Results

It's been a full week since my last update and I had some time so I thought I'd go ahead and give you another! I haven't quite reached 50K yet but I'm less than 3K away. I've recently changed my daily word count goal from 2K to 1K (excluding Sundays, which is a rest day - if I write, then bonus words!). This has actually helped a lot since I write best in the morning and my time is limited.

The fact that I know I can write 1K in an hour really helps my productivity. Every morning, Monday-Saturday I officially have a date with my manuscript from exactly 9-10 AM, then I have to move on to other things, whether or not I've met my word goal.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I work best on a deadline. Plus, 1K seems a lot more manageable because it seems so small to me. But after avoiding writing because of my 2K goal... I've realized I could have finished by now if I'd simply written 1K a day.

As for the actual story, I'm really loving part 2. Part 2 is kind of how the entire idea originally came to me though so it seems natural that I'm loving it so much and that it's being nice to me. I wouldn't say the words are flowing easily; it's difficult sometimes to find the right ones, but I typically know where Rachel needs to go when I'm writing so that helps a lot.

I feel like the world is coming together pretty well and I'm having a lot of fun of creating the details as I write. I know the basic structure and how things work there but the actual design? I kind of have an image and atmosphere I'm going for but I don't know details until I'm writing. I literally thought, "oh that's cool." at least once today while I was writing these details.

Yeah... that's how I roll.

I think it also helps that I just finished Divided by Elsie Chapman Saturday night and read like half of In the End by Demitria Lunetta yesterday. Divided was excellent and In the End is amazing. I love how great books recharge your writing batteries.

Happy June and Celebration #4

It's been too long but I've finally hit and passed 40K the other day! It's like the end is now in sight and writing doesn't seem so arduous now that I've passed 20 and 30K. Thank goodness for small mercies! My goal is 60K for the first draft. I'm kind of pantsing part 2 though so we'll see where it takes me and how far. I have an idea of what I want to accomplish but as for what actually happens... Well, I've already been surprised so who knows? I do anticipate adding a lot more once I begin piecing Hector's and Rachel's POVs together.

In other news, I've switched by major from Early Childhood Education to Marketing, which is also insanely exciting. There are a bunch of great books to read too which is amazing. I am hoping to get approved for Heir of Fire on Netgalley though. My month would be made if that happens. Just sayin'... BUT I am finally digging into my ARC of Divided (which released May 27th) and loving it even though I'm only 33 pages into it.

Back to writing... I'm hoping to reach 60K by the end of the month so wish me luck!

Inspiration Via Sarah J. Maas

I've been a bit down in the dumps lately with my writing. You know, when you hit about 30K in your novel and you realize all the things you've probably done wrong so far, not to mention all the things you want to add but have no idea how to properly incorporate? Yes. I'm there. I suppose I could do some sort of victory dance because this means I've hit another important part of the writing process. But suffice it to say that I don't feel like dancing in the least.

You know that book proposal I've been working on? Well I finally finished it and mailed it last week. I'm supposed to wait three weeks for it, guys. How will I wait that long? Hopefully my instructor-editor likes it because I'd really love to continue my work with Untitled Fantasy for this class. I'll write it no matter what but I think it could be something. It needs work though. If my instructor-editor turns it down, that means I have to submit another book proposal for a different project.

Lets put things in perspective here. The writing dump is so deep right now that I almost half hope the instructor-editor will turn it down, therefore giving me an excuse to drop the project until I forget about all of those problems... at the same time though, going it alone with this project makes me want to shrivel up and die. I started trying to fix things the other day and ended up rereading Throne of Glass instead.

 

Sarah J. Maas, as before-mentioned, inspires me. It's insanely important for a writer to have books like this in their life because it does a few things. One, it reminds you that you need to keep honing your skill. Two, because you're a reader, it whisks you away from your writerly problems. Three, it inspires you to keep trying and keep writing.

I kid you not. I picked that book up, remembering how much I loved it (and the world). I won't lie, I'd just finally finished The Assassin's Blade and was dying to reread Throne of Glass after acquiring so much background info. I was frustrated with my novel so I gave in to temptation and basically read half the book that day instead of doing what I should have.

So here follows the true story of what it did for me.

Reading the beginning: I'll never be this good but dang do I love this novel.

Me after a hundred pages or so: *forgets about my writing* I love this book. Sarah J. Maas is freaking amazing. Brilliant.

Me by the end: I should keep writing. I want to be that good some day. Why is it taking my friend so long to read Crown of Midnight? I need it now.

In case you were wondering, I still don't have my copy of Crown of Midnight. My friend's husband is going to read it too. While I'm insanely happy that they love this series, I still wish they'd just hurry up! But you know, he works and then there's the fact that they have four kids. Plus, I won't see them for a week any way. Here's to hoping he'll finish it in that time.

Now tell me, what books inspire you?

Permission to Suck

In my last post I expressed how difficult it is to allow the first draft of Untitled Fantasy to suck. I've been browsing Sarah J. Maas's and Erica Cameron's blogs lately. By browsing I mean, looking at their journey from aspiring writer to published author just because I was curious. If any two ladies can give you hope, it's them.

Miss Cameron rewrote and rewrote Sing Sweet Nightingale about a million times before and after she got her publishing deal. Miss Maas originally wrote Throne of Glass as an adult novel and literally cut thousands of words from the novel's original 250K. I haven't dived into Miss Maas's revision journey as much but from what I gather, her revisions were no less intense.

These two ladies would never be where they are today if they hadn't given themselves permission to suck. If they hadn't finished those first drafts, we'd never have the above mentioned novels. I don't know about the rest of you, but both novels are so good. I'm still reading Sing Sweet Nightingale but I'm not worried about loving it. Of course, I absolutely adore the Throne of Glass series, which happens to be one of my all time favorite high fantasy series ranked right up there with Tolkien. Oh yes, I love it that much. I'm not comparing the two but I love them both and will end up rereading them more than once in my life. They're both among my go-to high fantasy series.

Now to my point. I sat down and wrote for about an hour yesterday before allowing my sick self to nap and I fell into it. I was absolutely elated. I told myself it would be what it would be. I couldn't stop it from being a first draft. So I wrote. The important thing here is that I fell right into it (and it's been too long since that's happened). I was drawn into the story. I was there in that scene. Visualizing it wasn't difficult at all because I was there with my MC. I was in both character's minds. Any questions that popped up were answered seconds later. And that was wonderful.

The change? I gave myself permission to suck. Not in those words but basically, yes. That was it. Now why did I bother talking about the above authors? Because they give me hope that out of my suckiness, I can produce something amazing. Someday.

Writing for Me

I've been sick for the past three days (working on day four here) which has given me some time to think, not as much as I would have thought though since it turns out when you're super miserable, all you can do is lay somewhere, maybe watch t.v., and slowly die.

Okay, that was a bit dramatic, but you get the point.

While pondering why it's been so long since I've become immersed in a novel while writing it, the thought occurred to me that it's been a while since I've written only for the enjoyment of it. I love the concepts I'm working on. I'm eager to explore. But I want everything to be perfect and I know that no matter what, it won't be. I want to share this story with people someday so I keep thinking about the future when I really just need to write it for me right now.

So there we have it. Perfectionism and future dreams are making this even more difficult  than it already is, which basically means it's all my fault. Go me.

I was hoping to write the past couple of days but I've barely been well enough to read. I still feel awful today but it's better than it's been in two days, so there's that. I've been using this time to mentally coach myself into forgetting about the future of this story (which is hard) and just writing it because it's a story I want to see unfold - to let go of all my expectations.

C.S. Lewis said, "I never exactly made a book. It's rather like taking dictation. I was given things to say."

For some reason, this really speaks to me right now. Right now it feels as if I'm trying to force the words and story to say what I want it to say instead of just letting it be what it is. Every draft has a beginning and sometimes it's really crappy and that's hard to accept sometimes.

Writing Books

I'm no expert on writing and that's why I've taken it upon myself to acquire a few novels to help me. I've only read two out of the three I own and really enjoyed both of them.

 

 

 

 

It's been a few years since I've read No Plot? No Problem! but from what I remember, this is a great introductory novel. It's not something I'd reference for in-depth planning, but it has some handy advice and it's pretty fun to read too. If you're afraid of how-to novels like this, No Plot? No Problem! will help take some of that fear away.

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just finished Outlining Your Novel yesterday, and wow! I have yet to put any of this advice into action but I'm definitely going to try it out. This quite possibly may be the thing that changes my writing more than anything else.

 

Since Untitled Fantasy has turned into something wild with a whole lot of potential, I've been trying to figure out the best way to tackle it. My good friend, Hannah, at Book Haven Extraordinaire (book blog) and Ink Incorporated (writing blog) recently received this novel herself and brought it to my attention. I will thank her forever. Amazing, wonderful book.

 

I can't wait to try out all of the advice. I have so many notes in it and I'm sure I'll end up rereading most of again while I'm outlining.

 

I'm sure I'll be reading some more great stuff on writing, so I'll be sure to share whatever that stuff is periodically. For now though, if you decide to try either of these out (the second one is highly recommended), I hope they help!

Hello, Beautiful Scene

All righty, since deciding to multi-task and work on both Untitled Contemporary and Untitled Fantasy at the same time, I've kind of been using the latter as an excuse so I didn't have to get back to writing the former. I was still working on my writing, even if I was only trying to figure out my plot (an update on Untitled Fantasy will come in a bit).

I sat down tonight to work on plotting and outlining Untitled Fantasy. So I went to see if I could quickly find some advice on outlining (since I'm pretty awful at it). One thing led to another and I ended up clicking on this article by Susan Dennard with notes from Sarah J. Maas on how to maintain passion for a story. I sorely needed something to help me with Untitled Contemporary, so I decided to take a look.

And there in the article was the perfect suggestion. Long-hand. I prefer to just type things up in the main document since I hate transferring scenes from paper to screen but I also know that (for some reason) writing by hand destroys the pressure of perfectionism. It's much freer and it seems to expect less from you than that blinking cursor on the screen.

In that moment, I realized I was so caught up in getting from Point A to Point B that I didn't know what to do in between without skipping it all (can't do that) or it being the same old thing I'd written the chapter before.

So I read the last few lines I'd written, set pen to paper, and off it flew. A much more dynamic and meaningful scene unfolded before me. I only knew about one event from that scene. I knew Daisy (our protagonist) would be shoved in the cafeteria but I had no idea what her inner thoughts would be or what Adam (our friend and hero) would say.

I never would have thought that this scene I'd been struggling to write would explode across five pages of lined paper. I didn't know that Daisy would make a promise and I didn't know Adam would say as much as he did. But most importantly, I didn't know how grateful I'd be or how much I would end up loving this scene.

Every time I've thought about Untitled Contemporary, I've known what I wanted the story to be, but I didn't know until now that this also had another story within it. My deepest wish for Untitled Contemporary is for it to become not only a story of forgiveness but also a story of kindness and the power we each hold as individuals.

In honor of my breakthrough, I present my favorite line of the night.

"You have a beautiful life to live."



Resolve and the People Responsible

I've already basically resolved that I'm really going to focus on my writing this year. I'm currently just trying to find the right balance between all of my projects (book blogging, novels, work, and school).

Firstly, I'd just like to say that I love my mom. She is awesome. We talked for about an hour this morning. She wanted to know what my plans for school were and stuff like that. As we spoke though, it turned to my writing (since I'm taking a Writing Children's Books course) and I can't say how much I love her enough. I'll be honest, I'm overwhelmed with the mere thought of school. The one college I really want to go has a tuition cost that exceeds my financial aid and it doesn't look like I'll be getting any of the scholarships I applied for. And, really, I'm not going to take out a $10,000 loan.

I was basically kind of giving up on my plans to go there this April. Of course, my amazing mother told me not to give up on my dream of going there. We talked about what I was already doing for school and she said something that really just reassured me that I am actually doing something with my life. She told me that she believed that the things this course will teach me will help me in whatever life has planned.

I shared some things with her about my novel and how it plays a part in the whole writing course shindig. Her response: Don't give up. Keep going. You can do it.

More than ever, this year I've really been battling my worries and insecurities as a writer. My mom may not know a lot about writing novels or publishing but her faith in me gives me a new resolve I didn't have before to keep going.

So, I go about my day. Do the blog commenting and all that jazz and I come across this interview with Sara B. Larson and it struck something inside of me. Sara's debut novel, Defy, just released on the 7th. I actually was able to read it over a month ago and loved it so you can imagine the fangirling she's had to endure just from me. But I found her interview so inspiring.

In the midst of marketing for Defy, she's working on the sequel (yay!), she's drafting another book, and revising an entirely different project all at the same time. Wow. Plus she's a mom too so there's all that mommy stuff she has to do in addition to the book stuff. And I can't help but be inspired by that.

I know they probably won't be reading this but thank you, Mom and thank you Sara.

January Draft? Possible Critique Partner?

I have a goal to write 1000 words a day but with rewriting my novel in an entirely different tense, this is proving difficult. I originally wrote it in first person past tense but now I believe it would be better served if I wrote it first person present.

There are a lot things to insert and the novel is changing and taking on a different tone. I feel like these changes are truer to the story I'm trying to write though so that's helpful. I'm buckling down this month though. My major goal is to finish the first draft by the end of the month.

My other goal is to read all of my ARCs but lets not think about that for a moment because as important as book blogging is to me (and trust me I LOVE it), writing is my dream. I'm excited about this novel and I want to work on it while that excitement and drive are there. Every new year we all get really ambitious. That eventually peters out as we realize that a lot of our "realistic" goals are all that realistic. Or we realize we're lazier than we thought.

So here's to hoping January is kind to me. I'm figuring a lot of things out for my novel and at this point my biggest worry is finding a critique partner. I keep telling myself that I'm a long ways from there but I also know I have a habit of putting things off for far too long.

I have one person stuck in my head. I think she might enjoy this type of story and I'm pretty sure she'd be willing to critique for me. But I also know she's been super busy lately with school. And here's the thing, I don't want to be stuck in the critique partner phase for a year because the people I choose just don't have the time. That really isn't fair to them because they'll have it hanging over them (I know how that feels). I'm not saying this person would do that. I know she'd try to help as soon as possible but I don't want to add to her load.

Other than this one person though, I'm not sure who else there is. I mean, you know when your friend asks you to do something for them and you don't really want to do it, but you don't want to hurt their feelings? Yeah, I don't want to be one of those people that makes my friends feel awkward. But I don't want to just ship this novel off to a complete stranger. I want someone I kind of know and trust for the job.

Then there's the fear that I don't write as well as I thought and the possible embarrassment that would bring.... Yeah.

Thoughts for 2014: Goals and Resolutions

So I've been thinking about what I want in life in general. Some days I find myself randomly sitting on my bed or the couch and think, I want to be more productive. And that's as far as I go.

Laziness is the enemy of mankind.

I love having productive days. I feel better about myself and life in general when I have them. Therefore, I'm making 2014 the year in which I truly reach for my dreams.

I don't suppose any of you know the story of Ben Carson's childhood? When he was just a boy, his mother became concerned that he and his older brother were watching too much t.v. and weren't really going to go anywhere in life. She wanted them to aspire to greatness and become great, so she started making them read and write and do those things that would get them there.

I've been very inspired by this story lately (I'm planning on reading the novel soon) and have decided to change my life and cultivate those habits that will bring me the success and life I desire. This may sound silly but at one point in the past few days, I literally thought, "But this is going to be hard."

*bows head in shame at the glaring laziness*

I'm proud to say my immediate thought after that was, "Of course it is, it's supposed to be. So what?"

Okay, I'm slightly embarrassed I actually admitted that. Moving on....

This whole thing is about making and cultivating habits. Therefore, the logical step to take now would be to identify what I need to do to meet my goals.

• Finish that Writing Children's Books course....

• Write everyday

• Read everyday

• Watch less t.v.

• Find a critique partner (still unsure how to do this)

Obviously, this isn't going to all happen over night so I'm going to break this down to something more manageable as I begin to make these habits. I find that I'm more productive in the morning than I am in the evening so that means.... yes, waking up earlier. Here's my minimum requirements for every morning.

The Morning Breakdown:

• Write for at least 1 hour

• Work on writing course for at least 1 hour

• Read for at least 1.5-2 hours

I have no idea what the evenings will look like so I'm going to skip to my weekly goals. (I'll probably write blog posts and read more.)

• Read at least 2-3 books a week

• Write at least 6,000 words a week

This now brings me to the things I can't do at all or as much.

• I only get four hours of TV/Games per week

• Only use the internet for what I need

The first one should be pretty easy but when I get into a TV/gaming mood you can bet that's basically all I do unless I make myself do something different, so this is a very important one to have. As for the second one... I'm sure we can all identify with that.

And to keep me responsible, I'll be reporting my successes/failures to you every Saturday.

So what are your 2014 goals and resolutions?

Why I'm Revising Before Finishing

Two days ago, I was thinking about my untitled contemporary, which we will now refer to as Untitled Contemporary until I find a name for it. And I thought about my novel quite a bit. What I have is good. But it could be better and I'm hoping these changes will make it better.

Here's the thing, I haven't actually finished Untitled Contemporary. I'm close but I'm just not there yet. With that said, Daisy has come to her acceptance too early and it's throwing everything else off and I'm becoming... a bit stuck when I try to continue. I know I could muscle through it but this is supposed to be a beautiful story and I'm worried that would make it lose some of the beauty. I'd really love to just finish it all but these new changes are going to change quite a few things.

So do I finish it first and then go back and change things? Or do I change things and let the new ending come through as the first and only ending I write? At this point, I've decided to write the parts that speak to me so I've gone back and added a new chapter (which is needed for my revising plans). I really like the changes that are coming and feel like this will make for a much more meaningful and stronger ending.

Part of me still wants to just finish it but if I finish it now, I feel like it'll be almost a wasted effort. *gasp*

I know, I said it. No writing is wasted. But do you really write an ending you know isn't going to work? Do you write an ending that isn't right just to say you finished it? I don't think so. I'm a perfectionist and these changes are going to change how Daisy feels throughout the entire novel: the things she thinks about and blames herself for.

Therefore, I'm going to revise what I have and let those revisions shape my ending. I'll give you all a glimpse of Untitled Contemporary soon. I just have to find the right part and all that jazz.

Tell Them You Like It

Yesterday I confessed my own feelings of nervousness at the thought of letting anyone read my work. In connection to that, I've been thinking about a few of these debut authors.

I just finished reading Defy by Sara B. Larson last week (it was amazing) and I had commented on one of her blog posts telling her I had done so and that it was "A-M-A-Z-I-N-G." Spelt just like that. I never expected a reply back or anything of the kind. When I finish a book I really love, I eventually end up at the author's website or blog. This is especially true since I've started book blogging this past year.

So when I made this comment, it was the first time I'd visited her blog and I just wanted to let her know. Plus, commenting on blogs is always appreciated by the author. It lets them know that what they're writing is important enough to someone that they took the time to comment. Trust me, it's fantastic when someone comments on a blog post.

Back to my story now....

I went to bed and when I got up this morning I had a lovely surprise waiting for me. Miss Larson had thanked me for my comment and was glad I had liked Defy. The fact that she replied and went out of her way to find me on twitter instead of just replying to the comment was surprise enough. So I replied with a "Thank you for writing!" because I am truly grateful that she and a lot of other authors out there write and are brave enough to let me read it. Her reply?

@Chasm_of_Books You bet! Your comment made me so happy, I wanted to let you know. :)
— Sara B. Larson (@SaraBLarson) December 10, 2013

Now that one made my morning. But this all got me thinking. I'm nervous about letting two or three people read my work. Her release date is still a month away and plenty of people are already reading hers'. I can't even imagine how nervous she probably is.

But even for people who have a few novels out there, it must be nerve racking every time. So if you're reading a book you love, take the time to let the author know. There'll be plenty of critiques out there. I mean, don't be annoying (something I always remind myself), but don't be afraid to let them know you love it. You may not get a reply but they probably saw it and I'm sure it helps.