Confession: I'm Lost

Lately I've been working on character interviews, what POV Untitled Fantasy should be written in, and part one's main plot points. In addition to this, I've been browsing writing articles a bit more regularly. These articles help but sometimes, I get a little intimidated. Okay, so it was only one article and it happened to be about word counts.

I know Untitled Fantasy will be whatever length it needs to be but that doesn't mean I don't wonder if I have enough plot points for half a book, let alone an entire one. This article is really just a list of novel lengths to give you an idea. When I read it, my first reaction was relief. Then I was working on Untitled Fantasy, just putting down some basic events in writing, and I had this, "oh crap" moment. Then I started wondering if I had enough material to do what I want. Can my brain support the story I want to tell? How am I going to meet my word count goal?

But I obediently stopped thinking about that and continued working. I don't have worry about that at this second. I'm still brainstorming and figuring stuff out. I'm not drafting yet. Then something else hit me. I have no idea how to really outline this novel. I know what it needs but I have no idea how to give it that. I am treading new ground. I've never invested so much work in a story before drafting it. This is all alien to me.

Sometimes I'm excited and sometimes I psyche myself out and panic with all of my self-doubts surrounding me. I love this story and that's why I worry. What if the actual thing doesn't measure up to my hopes and dreams?

Now I find myself sitting here, honestly admitting that I have no idea what I'm doing. But you know what? That's okay. I have time. There aren't any deadlines ahead of me. Plus, it's never too late to start learning or to keep learning.